I was beat, incomplete

"Like a virgin, when your heart beats next to mine. Gonna give you all my love boy, my fear is fading fast. You're so fine and you're mine - make me strong, make me bold." Oh, Madonna. After watching gLee last night, I have done nothing but listen to Madonna songs. They are inspiring, powerful - telling. As ridiculous as it sounds, gLee was my pick up for the week. I haven't really had a break the past few days, so watching gLee was a really nice way to break up my week. Also, a very powerful heart=to-heart with a new confidant helped as well :)

Do you know how it feels to repeat something over, over, over and over again? Frustrating. Not for anyone else, just for yourself. Not that I am frustrated with the act of having to tell the story, that is not it at all, it is the fact that the situation makes me so frustrated - no matter how many times I say it, it does not get any easier.

I have been distracted for the past week - throwing myself directly into my school work, not being around people except for at work or in class. Distancing myself in the library, Squires, emotionally, mentally - why do we do this? I do this because I am scared. Scared of my future, my emotions, my abilities, my dreams. I know that this is not, in any way, the way to deal with an issue like that, but that is what I am doing. I am hiding. Hiding from everything. It shouldn't be like that. I don't know how else to deal - I want to scream, run, sing, write. Anything.