And here I am, almost ten months after my last blog post about settling into Columbia.
You know those moments when you wake up and think "Where did that time go?" - I had one of those moments this morning. I have finished my spring semester, and the two sessions of summer classes that were painful to sit through. I have officially been living in Columbia for one year. I joined Cross Fit almost five months ago. Neil and I have been together a little less than a year.
Time moved quickly.
Looking back on the past ten months has shown me this:
- That I live in Columbia, SC. Not Virginia. And I need to accept it.
- I grew up in 2013.
- How to stay in contact with those I love the most.
- Who my best friends are, old and new.
- How to be okay with something not working out how I would have liked.
- How to push myself.
- To admit defeat.
- Opening up is difficult for me.
- That I make lists for everything in my life. Everything.
2013 has been the best year of my life to date. I am thankful for how far I have come, where I'll go, and how this adventure has opened doors for me.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
a new home.
Confession: When I moved to Columbia I was miserable. I missed Virginia, I missed my friends, I missed my family, I missed Virginia Tech -- I missed the comforts of home, of what I knew. I wasn't open to this place, I didn't want to make a new home for myself, I thought of it as a temporary placeholder where I would go to school and work for two years. I had no intention of forming community here.
Last month I went home for the wedding of one of my sweet childhood friends. It was wonderful to be back in the Old Dominion and enjoy a packed weekend of meeting up with Megan in D.C., the wedding, spending a night in Williamsburg, and getting to see my best friend Beth. I didn't want to leave. My Dad dropped me off at the airport and I was a mess. I sat on my bedroom floor at home and confessed to my Mom how all I wanted to do was to be back in Virginia with my friends. I must have said the words, "I hate Columbia" about twenty times that weekend.
I was scared. It was a new place, new people, new experiences -- I didn't know how to deal with that. Now, the semester is almost over -- but the past few weeks have been so wonderful. I am finally settling in. I am enjoying it here, and I am letting myself be open to the idea of finding comfort in another home. My little apartment has become my new home. I'm learning how to navigate the city and finding short cuts to avoid traffic (thanks to some helpful hints from friends), getting into a groove during the week, and exploring new areas by myself. It's empowering. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.
It is easier to just go about your day and not make an effort, but now I'm trying. I'm really trying, and it is paying off. It's just like any new life experience, it takes a little bit of time getting used to it, but once you're there, it starts to make sense.
Last month I went home for the wedding of one of my sweet childhood friends. It was wonderful to be back in the Old Dominion and enjoy a packed weekend of meeting up with Megan in D.C., the wedding, spending a night in Williamsburg, and getting to see my best friend Beth. I didn't want to leave. My Dad dropped me off at the airport and I was a mess. I sat on my bedroom floor at home and confessed to my Mom how all I wanted to do was to be back in Virginia with my friends. I must have said the words, "I hate Columbia" about twenty times that weekend.
I was scared. It was a new place, new people, new experiences -- I didn't know how to deal with that. Now, the semester is almost over -- but the past few weeks have been so wonderful. I am finally settling in. I am enjoying it here, and I am letting myself be open to the idea of finding comfort in another home. My little apartment has become my new home. I'm learning how to navigate the city and finding short cuts to avoid traffic (thanks to some helpful hints from friends), getting into a groove during the week, and exploring new areas by myself. It's empowering. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone.
It is easier to just go about your day and not make an effort, but now I'm trying. I'm really trying, and it is paying off. It's just like any new life experience, it takes a little bit of time getting used to it, but once you're there, it starts to make sense.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
grad school vs. undergrad
Month three. Getting more and more used to my apartment, a somewhat normal schedule, and figuring out work/school/play.
Big differences between my life six months ago, and my life today...
1. Today I am going to bed around 10:30 p.m. because I need to wake up at 5:45 to study/shower/go get coffee/get to work early before a 4-hour meeting. Six months ago I stayed at the Empo until 1:30 am, slept, woke up at 7, and functioned completely fine.
2. I drink coffee. This is a big step for me. I have always loved iced coffee, but hot coffee has never really been my thing. I don't even have a coffee maker/machine/whatever you call it in my apartment if that tells you anything. I might need to invest in one. Six months ago I would occasionally drink a vanilla latte, cool.
3. Six months ago I had a boatload of friends I could could call/text to meet up and grab dinner with. Today I ate tortellini on my couch and watched The Big Bang Theory while taking a study break in preparation for our Healthcare Accounting midterm.
4. Yesterday (because I didn't go to campus today) I saw, what felt like, 300 undergrads on campus, who looked so young. I mean, I'm not some outdated student by any means, and yet I felt like I needed a big sign on my forehead that said, "No, I am not dressed up to walk around campus for fun, I am a graduate student and I just came from work. I will show you my official badge if you really want." Six months ago, I was that undergrad. Maybe students at VT look older? I don't know. It all feels like it happened 10 years ago.
5. Today, no dining halls. Six months ago, West End london broil with vegetables and an oven-roasted tomato. YUM.
6. Six months ago, norts and a tee, complete with my rainbows. Today, it takes more effort. And sometimes high heels.
7. Yesterday I worked from 8:30-3:30, ran errands, was on campus by 4:45, studied, took at midterm at 5:30, was at the gym by 6:15, got home by 8, made dinner, studied, in bed around 11. Six months ago...class here and there, SGA office for majority of my day, a little studying, regular Empo nights, Cookout break with normally Megan or Lester, back to the Empo, bed. What a hard life it was.
8. Yesterday I got lost driving to Target. Six months ago, I could drive to Roanoke without a map (that's a big deal).
9. Six months ago, home was only 4.5 hours away. Today it is 7 hours, and not as easy to make a quick weekend trip.
10. Today I feel a great deal more independent and knowledgeable than I did six months ago.
11. Today I am working towards tangible goals that I know I can accomplish.
12. Today I am learning something new because I have been given an amazing opportunity that I could not be more thankful for.
There are definitely pros and cons. It's difficult, it really is. But then I remember why I'm here, and who made it possible for me to be here. I do it for him. I work hard because he knew I was meant to be here -- and that makes every day worth it.
Big differences between my life six months ago, and my life today...
1. Today I am going to bed around 10:30 p.m. because I need to wake up at 5:45 to study/shower/go get coffee/get to work early before a 4-hour meeting. Six months ago I stayed at the Empo until 1:30 am, slept, woke up at 7, and functioned completely fine.
2. I drink coffee. This is a big step for me. I have always loved iced coffee, but hot coffee has never really been my thing. I don't even have a coffee maker/machine/whatever you call it in my apartment if that tells you anything. I might need to invest in one. Six months ago I would occasionally drink a vanilla latte, cool.
3. Six months ago I had a boatload of friends I could could call/text to meet up and grab dinner with. Today I ate tortellini on my couch and watched The Big Bang Theory while taking a study break in preparation for our Healthcare Accounting midterm.
4. Yesterday (because I didn't go to campus today) I saw, what felt like, 300 undergrads on campus, who looked so young. I mean, I'm not some outdated student by any means, and yet I felt like I needed a big sign on my forehead that said, "No, I am not dressed up to walk around campus for fun, I am a graduate student and I just came from work. I will show you my official badge if you really want." Six months ago, I was that undergrad. Maybe students at VT look older? I don't know. It all feels like it happened 10 years ago.
5. Today, no dining halls. Six months ago, West End london broil with vegetables and an oven-roasted tomato. YUM.
6. Six months ago, norts and a tee, complete with my rainbows. Today, it takes more effort. And sometimes high heels.
7. Yesterday I worked from 8:30-3:30, ran errands, was on campus by 4:45, studied, took at midterm at 5:30, was at the gym by 6:15, got home by 8, made dinner, studied, in bed around 11. Six months ago...class here and there, SGA office for majority of my day, a little studying, regular Empo nights, Cookout break with normally Megan or Lester, back to the Empo, bed. What a hard life it was.
8. Yesterday I got lost driving to Target. Six months ago, I could drive to Roanoke without a map (that's a big deal).
9. Six months ago, home was only 4.5 hours away. Today it is 7 hours, and not as easy to make a quick weekend trip.
10. Today I feel a great deal more independent and knowledgeable than I did six months ago.
11. Today I am working towards tangible goals that I know I can accomplish.
12. Today I am learning something new because I have been given an amazing opportunity that I could not be more thankful for.
There are definitely pros and cons. It's difficult, it really is. But then I remember why I'm here, and who made it possible for me to be here. I do it for him. I work hard because he knew I was meant to be here -- and that makes every day worth it.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
did I make the right decision?
How do you know if you've made the right decision about anything? I guess you don't really have a concrete way of knowing if you have or not about certain events.
If you would have asked me at this time last year where I thought I would be in a year, I would have said the following: Living and attending classes at a small, private liberal arts school in Boston studying Professional Communication. This was what I wanted, or so I thought. If you had asked me last June where I saw myself in a year, I would have said this: Living and working in Washington D.C. at a public relations firm, commuting in on the metro everyday, thriving in the hustle and bustle that is D.C.
Isn't it funny how time changes everything? Now, here I am in South Carolina, one place I thought I would never be. I never wanted to go south, going north was my dream. For a while, going to school in Arkansas was my plan (where that came from I have no idea), but the fact is: we change. We make decisions/have events happen in our lives that lead us to unexpected places.
I thought about this as I was sitting and reading one of my books for healthcare accounting, wondering if I made the right decision to choose this program, to choose this path to go down, to choose this place I am in right now. I am not unhappy by any means, I am just completely unsure. I can't hold an educated conversation about healthcare; one a scale of 1-10 I have a 1.5 knowledge about Excel spreadsheets; I have never taken an economics class. These are all things that are present in my life at the moment: foreign concepts.
I chose to be here. Fate led me here. To be honest, my grandfather led me here, so in knowing that, I know peace. I know I'm here for the right reasons, but it's a learning process. It's life. That's what it's all about. Just taking life day by day and discovering where you're meant to be, and where you're meant to go.
If you would have asked me at this time last year where I thought I would be in a year, I would have said the following: Living and attending classes at a small, private liberal arts school in Boston studying Professional Communication. This was what I wanted, or so I thought. If you had asked me last June where I saw myself in a year, I would have said this: Living and working in Washington D.C. at a public relations firm, commuting in on the metro everyday, thriving in the hustle and bustle that is D.C.
Isn't it funny how time changes everything? Now, here I am in South Carolina, one place I thought I would never be. I never wanted to go south, going north was my dream. For a while, going to school in Arkansas was my plan (where that came from I have no idea), but the fact is: we change. We make decisions/have events happen in our lives that lead us to unexpected places.
I thought about this as I was sitting and reading one of my books for healthcare accounting, wondering if I made the right decision to choose this program, to choose this path to go down, to choose this place I am in right now. I am not unhappy by any means, I am just completely unsure. I can't hold an educated conversation about healthcare; one a scale of 1-10 I have a 1.5 knowledge about Excel spreadsheets; I have never taken an economics class. These are all things that are present in my life at the moment: foreign concepts.
I chose to be here. Fate led me here. To be honest, my grandfather led me here, so in knowing that, I know peace. I know I'm here for the right reasons, but it's a learning process. It's life. That's what it's all about. Just taking life day by day and discovering where you're meant to be, and where you're meant to go.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Hello, Columbia!
I've taken Columbia by storm, and I've only been here two weeks! Okay, not really. If anything, it's taken me by storm and I keep getting lost, but you know what I mean.
South Carolina is a wonderful place. The saying "southern hospitality" is alive and well. It is rare to go somewhere without someone (usually a nice southern boy) holding the door open for you, or hearing yes ma'am, or someone saying "Hi Y'all" when you walk into the grocery store. It's a nice little state -- other than getting lost a lot.
For those who have ever been in a car with me, I am directionally challenged. Very directionally challenged. So driving around a new city has been an adventure to say the least. For the first few days I still couldn't figure out how to get to any of the main roads, or the highway, or anywhere. But thanks to my handy iPhone and GPS, I figured out to get to most of the places I needed to be. Parking in a city is difficult, and I am slowly but surely learning how to parallel park (a new adventure in itself), as well as making sure I always have quarters on hand. With that combination, parking/driving it getting easier. But that's just a small look at my current life.
Cooking. Another new part of my life. I have my "go to" recipes, such as chicken parmesan, grilled cheese, spaghetti, veggie stir fry, and some other concoctions I can come up with. I can follow a recipe, almost anyone can, but finding the time to look for recipes, go get all of the ingredients and cook everything is very time consuming. I've been eating a lot of salads, grilled cheese, cereal, fruit, and have learned to appreciate the luxury, and necessity, of always having a rotisserie chicken on hand. Time will tell how that goes, but for now, it's going as well as it could be!
As far as grad school classes go, so far there is nothing I didn't expect. The most challenging concept I've discovered is attempting to understand Excel spreadsheets and formula cells (something I know nothing of), but other than that, classes are interesting and I know will prove useful as time goes on and concepts build. Right now I am waiting to figure out my graduate assistantship, probably the best part of the program. I will be working between 10 and 20 hours a week in some sort of position to help me grow and understand more about the healthcare field, but as of right now, I have no idea where that will be. What I do know, is that I don't despise reading my textbooks, something that has never been the case. My books are interesting, the information is important, relevant, and thought-provoking -- and I love that.
Something else that's wonderful are the people in my program. Although we all are very new friends, thrown into this little world called grad school together, we seem to be bonding very well. Last weekend we had a BBQ, went downtown for drinks, and got to know each other. Tomorrow is Carolina's first football game of the season, and after our class, that gets out around 8 p.m., we are heading to one of classmate's houses to watch the game together. I still don't understand football, nor particularly care for it (so sue me), but I'm excited to see how games are in Carolina in the upcoming weeks. Apparently if you don't own a garnet and black dress here, something is wrong with you. Guess I know what I'll be keeping my eyes out for!
But that's Columbia so far. A thriving new adventure for a 21-year old recent college grad trying to find her way to the nearest grocery store, parallel parking spot, and mall (something I still haven't discovered). Keep tuned for more stories to come!
South Carolina is a wonderful place. The saying "southern hospitality" is alive and well. It is rare to go somewhere without someone (usually a nice southern boy) holding the door open for you, or hearing yes ma'am, or someone saying "Hi Y'all" when you walk into the grocery store. It's a nice little state -- other than getting lost a lot.
For those who have ever been in a car with me, I am directionally challenged. Very directionally challenged. So driving around a new city has been an adventure to say the least. For the first few days I still couldn't figure out how to get to any of the main roads, or the highway, or anywhere. But thanks to my handy iPhone and GPS, I figured out to get to most of the places I needed to be. Parking in a city is difficult, and I am slowly but surely learning how to parallel park (a new adventure in itself), as well as making sure I always have quarters on hand. With that combination, parking/driving it getting easier. But that's just a small look at my current life.
Cooking. Another new part of my life. I have my "go to" recipes, such as chicken parmesan, grilled cheese, spaghetti, veggie stir fry, and some other concoctions I can come up with. I can follow a recipe, almost anyone can, but finding the time to look for recipes, go get all of the ingredients and cook everything is very time consuming. I've been eating a lot of salads, grilled cheese, cereal, fruit, and have learned to appreciate the luxury, and necessity, of always having a rotisserie chicken on hand. Time will tell how that goes, but for now, it's going as well as it could be!
As far as grad school classes go, so far there is nothing I didn't expect. The most challenging concept I've discovered is attempting to understand Excel spreadsheets and formula cells (something I know nothing of), but other than that, classes are interesting and I know will prove useful as time goes on and concepts build. Right now I am waiting to figure out my graduate assistantship, probably the best part of the program. I will be working between 10 and 20 hours a week in some sort of position to help me grow and understand more about the healthcare field, but as of right now, I have no idea where that will be. What I do know, is that I don't despise reading my textbooks, something that has never been the case. My books are interesting, the information is important, relevant, and thought-provoking -- and I love that.
Something else that's wonderful are the people in my program. Although we all are very new friends, thrown into this little world called grad school together, we seem to be bonding very well. Last weekend we had a BBQ, went downtown for drinks, and got to know each other. Tomorrow is Carolina's first football game of the season, and after our class, that gets out around 8 p.m., we are heading to one of classmate's houses to watch the game together. I still don't understand football, nor particularly care for it (so sue me), but I'm excited to see how games are in Carolina in the upcoming weeks. Apparently if you don't own a garnet and black dress here, something is wrong with you. Guess I know what I'll be keeping my eyes out for!
But that's Columbia so far. A thriving new adventure for a 21-year old recent college grad trying to find her way to the nearest grocery store, parallel parking spot, and mall (something I still haven't discovered). Keep tuned for more stories to come!
Monday, August 20, 2012
what's your secret?
We all have them. Those little pieces of information you keep wholeheartedly to yourself, or maybe you share with one person, or maybe you try to forget your secret - wishing it away completely.
Why do we keep secrets? Are we ashamed, are we scared, are we nervous, are we too proud to let the world in on our imperfection? -- there are a multitude of reasons. Secrets are in our lives for a reason. Maybe we keep them locked away so we remember how it feels to be cheated on by the love of your life, or how it felt knowing that you hurt someone you cared so much for, or that you wanted to keep that 'A' you earned on your biology test even though you had the answer key before hand. We are human beings. We are not perfect, we are flawed. That is what makes us who we are, and I do not believe we should be ashamed of that.
I started to dig through my secrets and I compiled a mental list of the top five most embarrassing/outrageous/idiotic secrets I have. I won't share them, because then they wouldn't be my secrets anymore -- the safe ties to my memories about why I created them in the first place would be set free for all to know, but I will tell you this: I have learned why I lie. It's a combination of embarrassment, insecurity, and self-doubt about myself. I think that is why everyone lies -- to save themselves from something; to make themselves look better to others; to push the truth as far away as possible.
Instead of my five secrets that are embarrassing/outrageous and idiotic, I will tell you two truths and one lie, and you can decide for yourself.
-I cry everytime my parents and I say goodbye after they have traveled to see me.
-I am afraid to love others as much as I know I can because I don't feel worthy for reciprocation.
-I hate cats.
What can you admit to yourself? You will learn a lot if you dig a little deeper and pull out some of those reasons for why you chose to keep something so close to your heart. Maybe it will make you think a little more about how you live your life -- it did so for me.
Why do we keep secrets? Are we ashamed, are we scared, are we nervous, are we too proud to let the world in on our imperfection? -- there are a multitude of reasons. Secrets are in our lives for a reason. Maybe we keep them locked away so we remember how it feels to be cheated on by the love of your life, or how it felt knowing that you hurt someone you cared so much for, or that you wanted to keep that 'A' you earned on your biology test even though you had the answer key before hand. We are human beings. We are not perfect, we are flawed. That is what makes us who we are, and I do not believe we should be ashamed of that.
I started to dig through my secrets and I compiled a mental list of the top five most embarrassing/outrageous/idiotic secrets I have. I won't share them, because then they wouldn't be my secrets anymore -- the safe ties to my memories about why I created them in the first place would be set free for all to know, but I will tell you this: I have learned why I lie. It's a combination of embarrassment, insecurity, and self-doubt about myself. I think that is why everyone lies -- to save themselves from something; to make themselves look better to others; to push the truth as far away as possible.
Instead of my five secrets that are embarrassing/outrageous and idiotic, I will tell you two truths and one lie, and you can decide for yourself.
-I cry everytime my parents and I say goodbye after they have traveled to see me.
-I am afraid to love others as much as I know I can because I don't feel worthy for reciprocation.
-I hate cats.
What can you admit to yourself? You will learn a lot if you dig a little deeper and pull out some of those reasons for why you chose to keep something so close to your heart. Maybe it will make you think a little more about how you live your life -- it did so for me.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
What Waitressing Taught Me
Back in October when I was deciding what to do this summer between graduating from Tech and starting Grad school in the fall, I narrowed my choices to two potential jobs: retail, and working in a restaurant. I quickly decided against retail because I knew I would not have enough self-control to save money (I mean I wanted to work at J.Crew or Ann Taylor Loft - hello, money would be gone in an instant), so I decided that I wanted to be a waitress.
I have a strong belief that everyone should experience certain things in life, such as: witnessing a double rainbow, finding a hobby that you love, and understanding what it takes to be a food server. I decided that this summer was my time to waitress, because after grad school the work grind starts and I will not have the opportunity to do so again.
Everyone goes out to eat, and most of the time we acknowledge our server with little to no interest in them except that they bring our foods/drinks out correctly and quickly. Most people, unless they have been a server before or are just very kind, take little time to ask their server questions or find a deeper interest in them except as a face of the restaurant who interacts with them just a few times over the period of an hour or so during their dining experience. I wanted to appreciate the service. I wanted to understand just what it takes to be a good server, and good employee/co-worker at a restaurant - so I applied for a job, and I am so glad that I did, and here is the good, the bad, the lessons learned from my summer.
The Good:
- Can now carry up to 12 full glasses on a tray balanced on my left hand
- Learned the basics of how a restaurant is managed and successfully run
- Learned how to work as a team to accomplish every little thing that needs to happen throughout the night
- The smallest gestures can go the furthest
- Servers do not just deal with getting drinks and bringing out food
- I never dropped a full tray of food (miracle...)
- I met some awesome people
The Bad:
- Things will break, they just will, and it's okay
- You will burn your fingers on something
- You will get overwhelmed at some point and may have a breakdown (or two...)
- You will get hot, and sweat, and may look disgusting by the end of the day
Lessons I Learned and Will Forever Remember:
- Some people are rude. It just happens. But others are great, and be thankful
- Be patient, we are doing all that we can for you
- Do not ever leave a bad tip. If you do you're wasting their time.
- They can't make your food/drinks/whatever come out any faster
- 99% of the time, any mistakes are not their fault
- People come from all walks of life, appreciate and accept that
It's been a wonderful learning experience and I couldn't have asked for anything better. I wanted to serve because I thought it would make me a more well-rounded person, and it definitely has.
Have you ever wanted to do anything to make yourself learn/understand/appreciate something more?
I have a strong belief that everyone should experience certain things in life, such as: witnessing a double rainbow, finding a hobby that you love, and understanding what it takes to be a food server. I decided that this summer was my time to waitress, because after grad school the work grind starts and I will not have the opportunity to do so again.
Everyone goes out to eat, and most of the time we acknowledge our server with little to no interest in them except that they bring our foods/drinks out correctly and quickly. Most people, unless they have been a server before or are just very kind, take little time to ask their server questions or find a deeper interest in them except as a face of the restaurant who interacts with them just a few times over the period of an hour or so during their dining experience. I wanted to appreciate the service. I wanted to understand just what it takes to be a good server, and good employee/co-worker at a restaurant - so I applied for a job, and I am so glad that I did, and here is the good, the bad, the lessons learned from my summer.
The Good:
- Can now carry up to 12 full glasses on a tray balanced on my left hand
- Learned the basics of how a restaurant is managed and successfully run
- Learned how to work as a team to accomplish every little thing that needs to happen throughout the night
- The smallest gestures can go the furthest
- Servers do not just deal with getting drinks and bringing out food
- I never dropped a full tray of food (miracle...)
- I met some awesome people
The Bad:
- Things will break, they just will, and it's okay
- You will burn your fingers on something
- You will get overwhelmed at some point and may have a breakdown (or two...)
- You will get hot, and sweat, and may look disgusting by the end of the day
Lessons I Learned and Will Forever Remember:
- Some people are rude. It just happens. But others are great, and be thankful
- Be patient, we are doing all that we can for you
- Do not ever leave a bad tip. If you do you're wasting their time.
- They can't make your food/drinks/whatever come out any faster
- 99% of the time, any mistakes are not their fault
- People come from all walks of life, appreciate and accept that
It's been a wonderful learning experience and I couldn't have asked for anything better. I wanted to serve because I thought it would make me a more well-rounded person, and it definitely has.
Have you ever wanted to do anything to make yourself learn/understand/appreciate something more?
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